If I was to write about myself...here's my story.
Friday, October 8, 2021
My name is Wella. Or as my coworkers call me- Row
A few years ago I got divorced. You can find out about my brief story here and here.
Yes. I was devastated. I was ashamed. Never thought it would happen to me. The works.
Why wouldn’t I? I was supposed to be happily married. With a son. Living this awesome dream military lifestyle. Add to the fact that it’s a long-held belief that Filipinos don’t divorce. There is no such thing. You need to stick it out no matter how bad or worse it gets.
Such a grand, sweet idea, isn’t it?
When everybody is rooting for you to have this oh-so-perfect marriage?
Nope, not me. Apparently, I was the one to defy ”every-body-else-around-me’s expectations” and it wasn’t a pretty scene. Add to that the culture, tradition, religion, and every aspect of society’s expectations of you.
What do you have?
On the outside, it was a diamond of a disaster in the rocks. Shame on myself. Constantly telling myself look what you did. Yes, you did this and you gotta do everything you gotta do, bend over backward if you have to to make amends and do damage control, on yourself, your reputation, your husband, and everybody else you disappointed.
But underneath the scorching hot mess?
A realization.
A realization that I was hiding. All these years. I was hiding behind the façade of a perfect life and relationship when I was torn inside because I was fucking miserable for losing my sense of self. If you’ve ever Ellet like that before, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
How can it be that when you did everything right every fiber of your being still is not in agreement?
Well, the answer to that is simple. I was doing everything right yes, but it wasn’t according to my own terms- it was according to what’s expected of me. N short, it was someone else’s terms. Other people's terms.
It was a hard pill to swallow, the truth.
But it was my truth.
And so I decided, no more hiding. No more pretending. Because the moment you stopped worrying about what other people think of your life choices- that’s when you start truly living.
And that’s what I want for you.
Today:
I’m happy with someone. We are in a good place. I have my son with me, and I and my life partner/bestie have a beautiful daughter (and soon-to-be son!). Yes we are growing. On top of that, we have a huge extended family.
I now know what it's like to be truly content and at peace in my relationship and I couldn’t ask for more.
My promise to you:
You get caught up with all these life’s distractions that you forget to tend to yourself, and that’s ok. It happens. Life does that to you.
But it's not ok to continue putting yourself on the back burner. No-no.
So let's rediscover ourselves, shall we? Our purpose and passion so that we can live a life that's balanced, courageous and 100% REAL.
I simply urge you to take this journey with me.
So you can make up your own rules and your own terms.
So you can finally let that person come out from its hiding place.
So that you can finally live a life that is true to yourself and no one else.
My Challenge to you today:
Give yourself permission to be yourself. No quirks. No add-ons. No reservations. Just plain and simple you.
Why? I truly believe that doing something truly unexpected for you is not just liberating, it also feels damn good.
And feeling damn good is not a luxury. It is a necessity, my dear.
Some more “about me”
- I “mildly” cuss, especially when I'm passionate about something (or upset, I can't help it). So if you’re the type who gets offended with occasional curse words, this blog is not for you.
- I don’t write about happy things and a happy mindset all the time. I write about the truth about myself, my past mistakes and lessons learned that I love sharing as ugly as it is. It's what you deserve, believe me.
- I’m inspired by: Bronnie Wares The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
- I love semi-sweet dark chocolate, but sometimes I crave Hershey’s Kisses. If IM ever mad at you, those precious things will make me un-mad in seconds.
- I’m in love with my soulmate, my kids, and my extended kids and family. I guess I can say they were the silver lining waiting at the end of my rough patch
