Your Sacred Tribe is Waiting

Your Sacred Tribe is Waiting
Join From Chaos to Connected Moms and rediscover your happy place again

This is why #momlife is worth it

Tuesday, November 8, 2022

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 I often talked about my son’s struggles during his first few years in school. His teacher/principal/school psychologist/other staff all didn’t wanna deal with him and won’t have him get tested despite all their complaints.


Of course they have to blame it on our lifestyle and long drive home.


E.g. he has boundaries issue/he always gets up in the middle of the class/he is often restless/does not listen.


Instead of offering help or whatever they can do about it, they instead asked me: “if you want him tested and come out with mental health issues, do you really want that stigma for your son?”


Needless to say, I had to homeschool him and move him to another school. A school that took the time to work with him and evaluate him. Thanks to the caring staff. And his pediatrician who confirmed what we thought he already had (ADHD) and immediately placed him in an IEP program.


And after a couple years of IEP coupled with CBT and yes meds, he’s finally coping well and doing well. 


Anyways, a couple months ago he started reading for 30 minutes on his own everyday when we get home at 8 PM. He said his teacher told him to read for 30 minutes a day and so he did.


And I’m surprised to get this in my inbox. So yes I’m proud of him, and he’ll prolly get a $20 Roblox gift card. And anyone is welcome to donate to his Roblox funds lol


To all mommas out there, you are your child’s biggest advocate. Always.


Also, shout out Mira Palsario thanks for the awesome tutoring which has helped Marcus a lot. Will be connecting again with you soon since I got more kids ❤️☺️🎉🎊

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Want to become part of a thriving wellness tribe?

Thursday, August 4, 2022

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Hi awesome reader!


 I hope you’re doing well. As for me, I’m currently recovering from Covid, and it is a pain.


Although I can say that most of my symptoms have subsided (headache, chills, fatigue, muscle and body ache, still have a nasty cough with phlegm plus diarrhea), id says the virus still took a toll on me I’m still feeling tired.


On a lighter note, having Covid kinda pushed me to really slow things down a little and just breathe (literally). Yes, I would still get irritated because our neglected home looked like a pig pen. And sometimes, I feel I am only half rested because we have five kids isolating with us (two are newborns).


But at the end of the day, I’m happy to not be at work at the moment while recovering and watching all the Netflix series I can (hello, true crime documentaries!) and binge-watch my guilty-pleasure-don’t judge-me-reality show: Cheaters lol.


Ok, so now I’m just blabbing, lol.


An Invitation for You:


Every two weeks (starting Sunday, Aug 14th @ 6 PM PST), I lead a wellness lounge/meeting for women looking to become a healthier and more balanced version of themselves.


From Chaos to Connected Tribe: Your Wellness Journey is about finding the right balance between work and play, diet and exercise, self-care and self-improvement, fitness and flexibility.


In this tribe, we are dedicated to improving your life and helping each other do the same. It’s a safe place where you can talk about your struggles and receive advice from people who want to see you succeed.





The group is about finding your true self, expressing it, and helping others do the same.


Are you ready to join? For only $1, you get to trial different tribes like Spiritual Development Essentials, Align by Design (which teaches human design), Restore Your Inner Money Guru (one of my faves, I’m an active member), and many other tribes of special interest.


Check out From Chaos to Connected Tribe here, and let me know...will I see you on August 14th @ 6 PM PST?


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You won't believe what I did

Friday, May 13, 2022

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I did something extreme just very recently. Actually, I had this epiphany that finally came to terms with me when I finally let go and shared this with the Universe and my excellent mentor and biz coach last week. 



Side note: The coach I hired works with women transitioning their idea into a business, and I love how she specializes in helping you overcome fear. IMO fear seems too basic, yet everyone gets set back by fear and anxiety at some point. And sometimes, it’s easier to tell yourself to just get over this fear rather than actually getting over it.



Let me share a quick background: For the past few years, I’ve transitioned from becoming a health/life coach to a blogger, then back to coaching then blogging again without having much clarity on who I am helping, what I’m helping, that person with and why help her to begin with.




But then this idea in my head keeps getting louder and louder. I have been working on a group coaching program for the past 3-4 months, and I’ve put a lot of effort into it. As much as I feel aligned with the program itself because it is “me,” I still feel something is missing.


Anyways, this may shock you, so prepare yourself.


Whenever something big happens in my life or business, I HAVE to tell my readers.


This epiphany is something that really matters to me… so here I am, sharing this with you!


… Are you ready for it?


I’m taking a break from coaching.


There. I said it.



Before you start unsubscribing or throwing eggs at me, let me explain myself! I have a perfect reason behind why I decided to take a break from it.


It may go against my purpose, but here’s why I did it:


I know and absolutely believe that my passion and purpose lie in creating meaningful connections with women, especially moms like me but I feel like I’m on the wrong platform and somehow doing it the “misaligned” way.



So instead of coaching them, I want to celebrate them.




With this decision, I want to provide a platform for you, strong mom, to share your own unique story, dreams, visions, etc. w judgment or worry over wine, coffee, tea, or even freshly infused alkaline water! 



Note: I’ve always believed there’s truth in wine, and there’s something about it that allows you to relax and overcome your inhibitions. Eventually, the truth comes out when you finally feel that nothing is holding you back in your body.


Here's the thing.



I have listened to countless podcasts celebrating 6-figure-earner go-getter moms, whether they are staying at home raising kids or building their career and side hustle at the same time. I get it. They work their ass. They have connections. And that is good. Make money. Hell yes.



But I have never heard the story of the mom who is struggling to achieve what little or huge dream she has. Is this you? If so, I want to know about you, regardless of how much money you have in your bank account, whether you’re hustling or not. Whether you are starting your business, in the middle of it, or don’t’ care much for the entrepreneur life. If you have a hobby you are super passionate about, please share so.



I want to know how you’re changing diapers while setting your alarm clock @ 1:45 PM so you can take a quick 20-minute nap before you pick up your first grader with your 6-month baby in tow, all the while spending the last $20 of your budget on a Canva template tutorial so you can sell some digital products in Etsy without your so-called well-meaning family members or friends ever realizing it for fear of judgment.



I want to know how you’re waking up at 4:30 am to prep your kid’s snack, get them ready for daycare while you make time for your morning coffee, shit, and shower routine, and be out the door to beat the traffic at 5:45 am, bracing yourself for the 1.5-hour drive ahead.



I want to know how you made plans on Friday night to wake up @ 5 am on a Saturday to do some much needed Saturday morning self-care routine as it’s plastered all over your IG feed, telling you how you need that time because it is good for you (and I agree)…only to be woken up by a ready to go toddler asking you to go to the beach @ 4:59 AM.



I want to provide a sacred space for you to be vulnerable and casually ask yourself: “Will I ever get there?” There- which mean different things to different people. “There” can be a restful, uninterrupted sleep. “There" can be a business breakthrough or a profit goal you have yet to achieve. “There” can be your first sale in your business. There can simply be nailing your morning routine so your first grader can finally show up on time to school.



Because it’s ok to doubt yourself sometimes.


I doubt myself too.


I doubt myself while writing this. Is this something that the world needs? Another place to vent?


Maybe by expressing yourself (or venting, as you may call it), you are actually helping another soul, say, on the other side of the world or street?


Maybe by sharing your truth and becoming as authentic as you are in a casual convo over wine or tea or whatever, you are inspiring the next person to accept the frustrations of her life so she may learn to thrive in them instead of resisting them?


After all, this is simply an idea. But if you like it, and if you have a story you wanna share (every story I believe is worth sharing no matter how uneventful you think it is), will you let me know?


Hit reply/comment and share your brief story so you can be the first (or one of the first) in my list of amazing moms ready to share their truth.



Can’t wait!


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3 Toxic Mom Myths You Need To Break Away From Right Now

Friday, April 29, 2022

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Hey momma!

 

Did you ever get caught up with those Unrealistc Super Mommy goals? I know I did at some point. I gotta admit it’s always a struggle.

 

But lemme tell you about these 3 toxic myths that you break away from, especially when you just had a baby, whether you’re a brand new mom or you just had baby #7.

 

As the popular saying goes, “you are your worst enemy and best asset” so it’s time to align that mindset.

 

Myth #1: You will get your body back in X amount of time. You just need to wait and kill yourself every day at the treadmill.

 

It’s time to give yourself that grace and embrace that mombod you got. Regardless of what it looks like remember you just literally grew a human that you either pushed out of your vajay or had somebody cut you open.


 

Healthy is always better than skinny. If you know you are taking care of yourself, you’re not getting sick, you’re getting your wine on I mean green juice, then seriously stop obsessing over your voluptuous, stretch marks-fested new and improve body of yours.

 


I had someone ask me 3 months after I had this handsome boy why my tummy is still big. I’m like B*$tch please, it’s been 30-something years since your last one and yours still worse than mine. *drop the mic

 

 

Myth # 2: Motherhood is enjoyable.

 

If you’re not enjoying being a mom then so be it. Be curious about it, explore it and accept that you feel that way. No need to add this to your list of #reasons why you have mom guilt.

 


That’s why you go see a shrink, pop a Prozac, get your wine and move on. Ok I know it’s not always that ideal. But it’s ok to not enjoy this role of being a mom. It’s not ok to neglect your mental health.

 


Myth # 3: Breastfeeding is best.

 


I breastfeed my baby and supplement with formula. Why? Because I’m not a milk factory and my body can’t make enough milk to match his needs. He’s growing like crazy.

 

Some moms can’t breastfeed for certain reasons. Maybe they don’t want to. Maybe it’s just hard. And that’s ok. Again, no need to put that in your #momguiltlist

 

But just as there are so many reasons why moms can’t do it, so is the judgment. To be honest, as long as your baby is fed, that’s all that matters. Ain't nobody gonna call child protective services on you just cuz your boobies ain't hanging out feeding your baby 24/7.

 


Why is believing in these 3 myths problematic?

 

Because believing in these 3 myths will cripple you from being the mom you wanna be. Your

confidence gets affected, you don't seek guidance, and then…you know. #momguilt.

 

As someone who’s been through this 3 times plus all the stepkids I’m blessed with, I’ve been there. But as someone who helps other moms like me, I’ve seen breakthrough after breakthrough and I know that it’s not difficult. Just people don’t have the right support when it comes to #momwellness and #momselfcare.

 

They get advice from people who have their own opinion of them, then they start thinking they’re not good enough.

 

The bottom line is if you wanna be a good mom then just stop comparing yourself for once. You are the standard. Take heart and don’t doubt yourself for a second.

 

P.S. Tbh, I go off and yell at my kids when their unmedicated, sugarized behinds are all over the place. But then again, I’m just a mom tryna get through the day. Who loves her kids with all her existence..that’s all!

 


XOXO,


Wella

 

 

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10 Secrets to Creating Small Zen Moments Even When You Don't Have Time

Monday, April 4, 2022

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Being a full-time working mom can be overwhelming. Sometimes, balancing life as a working mom can be almost impossible if not challenging. There are several misconceptions behind the idea of a calm, zen-like lifestyle, including the fact you have to endure lengthy, grueling meditations every single day. I’m sure there are some people that choose to do this, but it’s definitely not the case for most of you, the busy working mom.


The truth is, living a balanced and peaceful life can mean many things, but the basic idea behind it is to turn your attention inward and truly reflect on your life, your thoughts, and your emotions.



Sometimes, being at peace means slowing down and being mindful of the things you do. It means you are content with your thoughts and your place within the universe. All of these things are fully obtainable for anyone, no matter how much of a newbie you are to this Zen-like lifestyle. To help guide you on your way, here are 10 secrets: five morning and five evening habits you can try so you can be on your way to a calmer, peaceful life in no time. Let’s dig in!



Secret 1: Journal Your Thoughts



A great way to kick off the first hour of the day is to journal your thoughts and reflect on the blessings in your life. It’s a wonderful way to clear your head and start your day on a positive note. I sometimes call this my "brain dump" hour.

Journaling helps train your mind to actively seek out those moments, feelings, people, or experiences that you’re grateful for. This will also help you gain more clarity on your goals and your intentions for the day. It not only puts your goals out there front and center but keeps you motivated and focused on the direction you’re heading.

Journaling is also a great way for you to look back and review these goals on a daily basis. It’s been said that writing down your goals will increase your chances of success by a huge percentage. It’s well worth a shot don’t you think? Make every effort to do this first thing in the morning and you’ll be surprised at how much more productive and less chaotic your days start to become.

I have started journaling on my quiet Saturday mornings when everybody is still in bed, as that's when I usually do my writing. I don't journal every day, but I try to be consistent at least once a week, or when I sometimes get the chance (which is super rare) during the weekdays. All you need really is to get started and commit to that 10, 15, or 20 minutes of time for yourself.




Secret 2: Get Your Body Moving




This is one of those habits that you might groan at, at first but it’s such an important one. This is why I like to call it movement instead of exercise almost people refer to. Movement is not only exercise. It is whatever feels comfortable for you and your body: dance, walk, swim, run, stretch, etc.

Starting each day with any kind of body movement will help set your day up for success. Not only will you have more energy and mental clarity, but it also helps boost your productivity throughout your day.

Moving your body also lifts your mood and helps you kick off the day with optimism and a smile. Don’t think too much into it. As I said, you don’t have to run a marathon each morning or do a grueling, hour-long workout. Simply get your body moving and your blood pumping. If you’re new to exercise, start by taking a morning walk or try some yoga (this is also great for clearing your head).

Look up a 20-minute workout video on YouTube or download a fitness app to help get you started like Zumba, Jazzercise, or The Daily Burn (if the gym is not an option). They may have both free and paid options so be sure to check into that before you get going. Start slow and just be consistent. You’ll find that being active first thing in the morning also helps you make healthier food choices throughout the day and sleep better at night- and that’s a win-win.




Secret 3: Sit in Silence




What do you do when you first wake up in the morning? Do you tend to reach your phone and check your emails/text/social media?

Before you begin your day, take time to simply sit in silence for a short while. Before your phone starts beeping, horns start blaring and everything else gets crazy, give yourself a moment to embrace the silence. How often do you actually allow yourself to do this? If you’re like the majority of people, it’s probably not very often.

It’s so easy to get preoccupied with the craziness of life and forget to stop and smell the roses. Make an effort to really notice the beauty around you – even if it's simply to say a little prayer in your room or step outside for a minute to feel the gentle morning breeze blowing and the birds chirping.

Take note of your breathing. This can be a form of meditation within itself just focusing solely on taking one breath in, letting one breath out. Waking up before the world can be one of the best parts of your day because you can clear your head and simply. Just. Be. This also gives you an opportunity to take in a beautiful sunrise while the darkness of the night fades away into a brand-new day.



Secret 4: Visualize Your Future





When you start each day by visualizing what you want your future to look like, you automatically raise your frequency and set yourself up for success. Take 5-10 minutes each morning to picture something that you’re working towards.

Is it a new job? A better car? A house on the beach? A staycation? That trip to Hawaii you’ve always wanted to take? Whatever it is, pick one thing and envision yourself living that moment.

Tap into your creativity. How do you feel about making this dream a reality? What emotions are you going through? What are you wearing? Where do you live at the time? What does your life look like at that exact moment?

Imagine yourself there and give visibility to your dreams through this process. A quick tip: Let go of the “hows.” During your visualization, you don’t need to know how your dream is going to happen, simply that it does. This is a fun way to get to know yourself better. Plus, it gets you pumped and ready for the day ahead.




Secret 5: Water Yourself




This may be one of the most obvious suggestions but it’s also one that many people don’t follow. One of the first things you want to do when you wake up is drink water to rehydrate your body. Not only does this jump start your metabolism but it also assists in weight loss and increases your overall alertness during the day.

Water helps to rid your body of toxins and can even give your skin a radiant glow. Need I say more? Those reasons alone make it so much more beneficial than reaching for a cup of coffee in a Starbucks drive-thru or grabbing a can of soda at work. Plus, limiting all that caffeine and sugar will do wonders for your overall health.

Make it your best effort to grab a glass of water each morning to give your mind and body the kickstart they need for a successful day.




Secret 6: Read a Book




I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't remember the last time I've read a book. But, I listen to audiobooks a lot on my way to and from work. But I believe that reading is so good for you, especially after a long day when you're unwinding right before bedtime. This not only relaxes your mind but reading has also been known to reduce stress and anxiety levels and combat insomnia as well.

Reading helps distract your mind from the daily chaos of life and redirects your focus to what is written on the page of the book. In other words, reading creates a brief escape from the world around you and there’s no better time than right before you drift off to dream.

Reading is also a great way to broaden your perspective and open your mind to new possibilities – this is why it’s no surprise that it can give your creativity a boost. Adding this habit to your nightly ritual can make a huge impact on how you sleep as well as how you feel the next day. What are you currently reading?




Secret 7: Pamper Yourself



We often push self-care routines to the side because we don’t have time, life is too crazy, it doesn’t work anyway – the excuses go on and on.  However, developing a morning or nightly self-care routine is so important.

You need to take time out for yourself, even if it’s just 10-15 minutes at a time. Besides sitting in silence or journaling first thing in the morning, try a nice, relaxing bubble bath on those nights when you have a little extra time or like I mentioned, reading a good book. This is a great way to unwind after a long day and let the noise of the world fade away.

Give yourself the spa treatment and try a facemask or a Mani/Pedi to pretty up those nails. Making time to an actual spa is great and all but DIY is just as good especially if you're on a tight budget (as often is my case). Buy yourself some fresh flowers, go for a hike or watch funny videos on YouTube that make you laugh.

Simply put, do something simply because you enjoy it. A self-care ritual is a great way to put you in a relaxed state and prep you for a good night’s sleep, or the day's craziness, whichever works.



Secret 8: Prep for the Next Morning




One way to make sure the next morning isn’t super chaotic is to prep for it the night before. Depending on what your mornings usually look like, your night prep might be something as simple as getting your clothing laid out for work or deciding on 3 tasks you want to focus on for the next day.

Think about what will help your mornings run more smoothly and do that. If you are constantly running late because you have to make the kids lunches, start making them up the night before to give you a head start to the day. Developing a routine each evening where you feel prepped and ready for the next day will not only reduce stress but keep life from becoming too crazy the minute you wake up.

 In my case, this is something I really need to get started on because early mornings are spent prepping our kids for the long drive to daycare and school. Prepping their breakfast in the morning during the drive takes a good 15 minutes of our time and add 30 minutes of drive time.




Secret 9: Limit Electronics Usage




Despite how wonderful technology can be, it can also greatly affect our ability to get a restful night’s sleep - or even fall asleep for that matter. From your smartphone to your TV to video gaming devices, you want to make every effort to reduce how much you use these electronics as the sun goes down.

Instead of watching that last episode on Netflix or scrolling mindlessly through Facebook 30 minutes before bed, how about journaling or reading a good book to help you unwind (see Secret # 6) ?

It’s especially important to keep your bedroom free from digital distractions. Set boundaries where you recognize that your bedroom is a place of relaxation, not an in-home movie theatre or social media station. By establishing this nighttime ritual, it’s much more likely that a long, peaceful sleep is in your near future.




Secret 10: Meditate




Right before bed is a great time to try your hand at meditation so you can calm your mind and prepare for a good night’s sleep. If you’re new to meditation or have trouble shutting off your thoughts at night, it might be overwhelming to even know where to start.

This is where guided meditation comes in. This type of meditation can help you focus and get out of your own head while keeping those distracting thoughts at bay. There are several apps to help you get started including Insight Timer and Headspace. Or, you can always look up free short guided meditations in Youtube.

You don’t have to commit to an hour-long meditation - who has time for that anyway? There are a ton of short and quick meditations to start with so just pick one and roll with it. Meditation takes practice (even the guided kind). Don’t give up if your mind should start to wander the first 12 times you try it. Be consistent and in just 5-10 minutes daily, you can start to transform your life with little to no effort.




Conclusion



Daily life can be full of stress, craziness, and a never-ending list of to-dos. For this reason, it’s super important that you commit to morning and evening rituals that allow you to find your Zen – a little calm inside all the chaos.

If you find yourself constantly on edge, overwhelmed by life, and unable to sleep at night, that’s a good sign you need these simple habits to make your life a little more calming and peaceful.

You don’t have to commit a ton of time and effort. Simply be consistent and make these rituals a part of your everyday life. Start small and try one or two at a time just to ease yourself into the process. Don’t beat yourself up if your mind wanders during meditation or you don’t drink as much water as you should. It’s all part of the journey. You may slip up a time or two.

Give yourself patience and grace and keep at it. Finding your inner peace doesn’t happen overnight but with a few of these ideas, you are well on your way to a life-changing transformation.

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