You Can Love the Product Without Joining the Cult: A love note to moms navigating MLMs with heart and hesitation

You Can Love the Product Without Joining the Cult: A love note to moms navigating MLMs with heart and hesitation

Thursday, July 10, 2025

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I got off a call recently — one of those "leadership" calls for a beauty MLM I’ve been loosely connected to. I showed up out of curiosity (and yes because I genuinely love the product). What I didn’t expect was the tone and vibe of the chat.

For context, the brand is launching in the Philippines for the first time, and the plan was to send representatives — or Riman Planners, as they’re called — on a few city tours. Note that a round-trip ticket to the Philippines costs approximately $1,200 to $1,500 per person. That doesn’t include hotel or lodging, food, transportation within the country, and other miscellaneous expenses — all of which are covered out of pocket. None of it is paid for by Riman. Of course, on top of that, you have to buy your "kits" (because you know they won't give them to you for free, even if you're promoting the product for free) so you can share the opportunity. Not the product — the opportunity.

They are looking for someone with a "leadership mindset" willing to spend several thousand dollars to recruit in the Philippines, with no guarantee of getting that money back. I say this with love because, although there’s never really a guarantee in these things, they won't tell you that. In fact they usually have a disclaimer that says the tune of “results are not typical” and then quickly reframe it to “But you’re not typical either”. One of the female speakers gave a pep talk about how you can't expect things to happen right away. However, if you persist and aim to "10x" your income, you must recruit leaders. Their strategy? A recycled sales script: "Use my story. Tell them you have a friend — me. You're not successful yet, and chances are they won't believe you, so you have permission to use my story. Then get them on a call with me."

Yep, that sales call.

So when they started asking who was going on these city tours, the room fell quiet. No one volunteered. Then the male speaker, full of fire (and judgment), said something like, “This is what I'm talking about when I tell you guys don’t just add anybody to the chat. Add people who are leaders.” And by "leaders," he meant people willing to drop thousands of dollars on international trips and flashy launches. The kind of "success" that comes with a spreadsheet and an expense report.

I sat there feeling… off. So, I left the call.

However, I became curious and joined again. This time, a few volunteers had already raised their hands.

I was leaving for the Philippines in a few days for a planned trip. I could’ve volunteered. But I didn’t.

Not because I’m not capable.

But because I’ve been here before.

Years ago, I left MLM for a reason — the pressure, the performative community, the quiet message that says to moms, “You’re not enough unless you’re earning, hustling, recruiting.” I earned a few hundred dollars in commission checks, but it wasn’t enough to break even. I cut my losses after only a few months.

And yet… here I am again. Because I like the product. Because I believe in sharing what works. Because I’m a mom of five who wants to glow a little, feel good in her skin, and pass that goodness on, without the emotional upsell, without forcing others to "share" the product with their family and friends.

Sometimes, being a plain consumer and a savvy shopper is enough. If you genuinely love something, you don’t need a bribe or an incentive to share it. You simply share it.

So here’s the truth I want to whisper to other moms who might be entangled in this same inner tug-of-war:

💛 You are allowed to love the product and still walk away from the structure.

💛 You are permitted to share your wins without becoming someone’s "downline."

💛 You don’t have to go broke to belong.

💛 You don’t have to be on the next trip, in the next training, or hitting the next rank to be valuable.

You can show up in your little corner of the internet, post a picture of yourself, and say, “This made me feel good today.” That, my friend, is enough.

If you’re feeling the ick, the pressure, the sense that this thing is taking more from you than it’s giving, trust that. There are other ways. Affiliate partnerships, small collaborations, honest conversations. You can share, earn, and stay whole.

And if you ever need a reminder: your voice, your presence, your journey — it’s worth so much more than a sales script.

With love,
Wella

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Brown is Beautiful

Brown is Beautiful

Monday, May 25, 2020

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I never used to believe that.

 

When I was young, I wanted so much to be light-skinned. I was born dark and I never understood why because my mom was super pale light, my sister takes after her and my brother is kinda light. In fact I asked myself quite a few times, Whatever happened to genetics? How the hell did it miss me?

 

My dad, on the other hand, was the brown skin carrier of the family. My dad’s side of the family is primarily dark-skinned except for a few anomalies, and yes I look more like them. I can blend in well with them.

 

My mom’s side however is a different story as most of the time they don’t even know about me or my existence (except for my Grandma, of course who always seemed to find me amusing). Often, I would be mistaken for the help’s daughter if not the help.

 

So no, I never liked myself because of the fact that I was dark. I grew up in a country where the standard of beauty is a mestiza looking girl with pointy nose, thin lips, pale face, big eyes, and super light, oh-so- flawless skin..

But…

I was brown.

I was short.

I had small eyes.

I had buck teeth.

I had pimples.

I had thick, straight,  boring, lifeless hair.

 

And all I had going for me was my super excellent grades in school (Where else was I. Supposed to devote my attention too?) and a few good friends. Who wants that?

I thought if I was lighter, I won’t be picked on much by stupid boys.

Instead, I would get noticed more…especially by boys I liked. I thought I would have a better future ahead of me if I was lighter.

 

If my skin was lighter…I thought I would finally be happy.

 

 

All my childhood years, that’s all I prayed about. Lord, please. Make me pretty one of these days. You can start with my skin.

When we became teenagers, all my friends (and my sister) started to get noticed. But me? I was just there.

Watching as they get their daily supply of Toblerone chocolate (a big deal if you are a broke high schooler in the Philippines)

A few dozens of roses on Valentine’s Day.

Then there’s the love letters.

And getting hit on.

Yes, little plain old me can’t help but feel slightly depressed (and jealous!).

My world revolved around the belief that I was less than who I was because I wasn’t the embodiment of true Filipina beauty.

But then… something happened.

I grew up.

”Woman-ed” up.

Woken up from this wild dream.

 

Suddenly, I refuse to spend my last few change on some skin cream whitener promising  to make me look like a typical Filipino celebrity.

I decided not to starve myself anymore (in an effort to buy these whitening products) and instead,  I used  the extra change I have to buy me some fattening food.

I simply stopped giving a shit about being liked (or not) anymore. Nor would I even try. I wanted people to like me for who I was and not how much melanin is swimming in my skin.

 

 

I asked myself: Why do I have to be influenced by this 300 yr old concept that was somehow forced upon us- The lighter you are, the better you look, and the better your life will be in all ways?

 

Why do women subject themselves in this madness- going as far as getting  glutathione injection an d pills in an attempt to look White?

 

I remember back then when I used to complain to our help that no one will ever marry me.  Instead,  I’ll be a nun instead Bound to spend the rest of my life in celibacy not because I have a calling, but because I prolly had no choice. Nobody wanted a dark skinned girl back then, at least back in my time.

 

Gently she’d tell me…”Maghintay ka lang, dadating din yan” (Just wait, he will come).

 

So I waited…

And waited…

And waited…

 

And showed up he did…years later. And yes, he loves me for who I am, regardless of the difference in our skin tone.

 

Sometimes you get caught up in a cultural belief that honestly serves you no purpose as it does sticking your tongue out in pictures.

 

Question is, do you really have to jump at the bandwagon like everybody else?

 

So you ask..What about those people who absolutely still feel the same way? Who don’t think they are beautiful unless they are light-skinned? You cant really blame or force them to think otherwise. You can never change people’s thoughts and beliefs. Nor can you control their behaviors and actions.

 

But you can change your thoughts. No one has the power to control you unless you let them. True beauty is in the inside. Intelligence is sexy. Humor is attractive. A kind heart lasts for a while- a lifetime, so to speak.

 

 

So to all my Filipino sisters out there, don’t be discouraged if  you don’t look like Anne Curtis, Marian Rivera or any other commercialized-type looking Filipina model. The media wants you to believe that they are the only standard but that’s not true.

You might think yeah, easy for me to say because I’m not in the Philippines, and in the US people are more accepting  of the color of my skin.

Believe me, it’s a whole different story (I learned) for another day.

Stop wasting your money on these products that yes, might change the way you look, but for what cause?

So that you can look better? And for whose eyes?

For people who could care less about you since they don’t pay your bills?

And so what if your beautiful caramel mocha latte brown skin is a little too dark for your liking  it makes the white of your eyes pop out?

So effing what?

Are you going to die of shame because of this?

Point is, life is too short  to care about what people think about you- beauty and all. Life is too short for you to be wasting your energy on things and people that no longer serves you or your life purpose (is that deep or what?).

The truth is that you are beautiful in your own unique way my dear…quirks and all. Embrace it like there’s no tomorrow.

Own it like you mean it.

 

Flaunt it cause you got it.

 

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