I got off a call recently — one of those "leadership" calls for a beauty MLM I’ve been loosely connected to. I showed up out of curiosity (and yes because I genuinely love the product). What I didn’t expect was the tone and vibe of the chat.
For context, the brand is launching in the Philippines for the first time, and the plan was to send representatives — or Riman Planners, as they’re called — on a few city tours. Note that a round-trip ticket to the Philippines costs approximately $1,200 to $1,500 per person. That doesn’t include hotel or lodging, food, transportation within the country, and other miscellaneous expenses — all of which are covered out of pocket. None of it is paid for by Riman. Of course, on top of that, you have to buy your "kits" (because you know they won't give them to you for free, even if you're promoting the product for free) so you can share the opportunity. Not the product — the opportunity.
They are looking for someone with a "leadership mindset" willing to spend several thousand dollars to recruit in the Philippines, with no guarantee of getting that money back. I say this with love because, although there’s never really a guarantee in these things, they won't tell you that. In fact they usually have a disclaimer that says the tune of “results are not typical” and then quickly reframe it to “But you’re not typical either”. One of the female speakers gave a pep talk about how you can't expect things to happen right away. However, if you persist and aim to "10x" your income, you must recruit leaders. Their strategy? A recycled sales script: "Use my story. Tell them you have a friend — me. You're not successful yet, and chances are they won't believe you, so you have permission to use my story. Then get them on a call with me."
Yep, that sales call.
So when they started asking who was going on these city tours, the room fell quiet. No one volunteered. Then the male speaker, full of fire (and judgment), said something like, “This is what I'm talking about when I tell you guys don’t just add anybody to the chat. Add people who are leaders.” And by "leaders," he meant people willing to drop thousands of dollars on international trips and flashy launches. The kind of "success" that comes with a spreadsheet and an expense report.
I sat there feeling… off. So, I left the call.
However, I became curious and joined again. This time, a few volunteers had already raised their hands.
I was leaving for the Philippines in a few days for a planned trip. I could’ve volunteered. But I didn’t.
Not because I’m not capable.
But because I’ve been here before.
Years ago, I left MLM for a reason — the pressure, the performative community, the quiet message that says to moms, “You’re not enough unless you’re earning, hustling, recruiting.” I earned a few hundred dollars in commission checks, but it wasn’t enough to break even. I cut my losses after only a few months.
And yet… here I am again. Because I like the product. Because I believe in sharing what works. Because I’m a mom of five who wants to glow a little, feel good in her skin, and pass that goodness on, without the emotional upsell, without forcing others to "share" the product with their family and friends.
Sometimes, being a plain consumer and a savvy shopper is enough. If you genuinely love something, you don’t need a bribe or an incentive to share it. You simply share it.
So here’s the truth I want to whisper to other moms who might be entangled in this same inner tug-of-war:
💛 You are allowed to love the product and still walk away from the structure.
💛 You are permitted to share your wins without becoming someone’s "downline."
💛 You don’t have to go broke to belong.
💛 You don’t have to be on the next trip, in the next training, or hitting the next rank to be valuable.
You can show up in your little corner of the internet, post a picture of yourself, and say, “This made me feel good today.” That, my friend, is enough.
If you’re feeling the ick, the pressure, the sense that this thing is taking more from you than it’s giving, trust that. There are other ways. Affiliate partnerships, small collaborations, honest conversations. You can share, earn, and stay whole.
And if you ever need a reminder: your voice, your presence, your journey — it’s worth so much more than a sales script.
With love,
Wella
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