Love Notes to Bella

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

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My dear Bella,


Today you turn two years old. Well that happened so fast didn’t it? With that said, I’m not gonna go about the usual cheesy narration parents do on Facebook like “So many years ago, a baby came to our lives, etc. etc. and our life was never the same again *hashtagheart, *hashtag crying face emoji” and all the other shenanigans that come with it.


No, my dear Bella. You know who you are, and you know who you are to us on a deep spiritual level. In fact, I believe you chose me. You chose me and your dad to be your parents. You wonderful little ball of delight full of knowing and personality actually chose me (broken, unsure, unmedicated and insecure me) to be your mom and your ever goofy clumsy dad to be of course, your dad. And you never, ever, ever fail to turn our gray skies blue.


For all of that, I am breathtakingly grateful. Who would’ve known that a positive pee test in my darkest, anxiety-inspired days would’ve saved me from my own damn self? You were such a blessing then, as you are to us now and continue to be. Your angry, grumpy mornings waking up with no pacifier in your mouth and sippy cup on hand makes my mornings super happy. Your OCD at bedtime cuz you gotta have your blanket, your ipad (that you fall right asleep to), your pacifier and of course, sippy cup makes for another gratitude-filled night.


I am looking forward to  many more years getting to know that little girl with the deepest look in her eyes who unbeknownst to her, sends everyone into a sort of  trance with just one look. Right from the start I knew you were something else and just like your older brother Marcus, I love it when you surprise the hell outta everybody with your wits. Because my dear, one thing I know for sure is that people will attempt to underestimate you. Put you down like they own you. Like they did with me, your dad, your brother, your family. But you are stronger and more capable than you think, NOT WHAT THEY THINK. And you are going to own it plus the world that is your playground.


And you got places to go I just know it. When the time is right, you will build your own path that is completely you. Not a replica of my path, nor your dad’s,  your brothers’, sister’s friends’ or whoever the hell expect shit from you to happen.


No  my dear beautiful  Bella Alessandra Smith. It will be your own signature path, not a watered down version of yourself.  


Happy Second!






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The One Thing that will Make a Difference in Your Writing

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

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Early this morning while trying to write my research paper and failing miserably due to the art of procrastination that I ever so perfected, I came across one of the little notes I wrote for myself when I would have those short, fleeting aha moments throughout the day. When I was in the middle of a blogging crisis and felt stuck wth no readers, no voice, and no reverberating message.

You see, my mind for some reason is an energizer bunny machine constantly churning out new ideas all day everyday even in my sleep before I can even catch up to them. For a year now I've used Google Keep and Penzu to write down my ideas- things I would love to write about, learn, explore or simply dream about. And then I go from there (or the next shiny new object).

So anyways, gong back to the original topic, this post is going to be short since I just wanna share with you this one lesson I’ve learned in my years of writing and it’s that you must write for yourself before anybody else.

Focus on yourself, your inner thoughts before you focus on others. Before you help others.


Because I believe you need that clarity and focus, to get to know yourself on a deeper level so you truly know the people you wanna serve.

By becoming self-aware, you can figure out who you truly wanna write to, and trust me you don't wanna write to everybody. You don't even wanna try.

And so it’s not selfish to make your writing about you.

It’s not selfish to write about how you truly feel even though the gurus tell you nobody gives a shit about your problems, people only care about theirs and so you should be speaking to them. But if you don't know who you truly are, and you're simply copying someone else's writing style, then how would you resonate to those readers? How would you set yourself apart from everyone else if not for that weird, quirky or sometimes annoying personality of yours?

(Trust me, it's ok to be annoying. In fact, I've followed people on social media and subscribed to their emails just because I find them annoying- whether it's their voice, message or just the way they look and they never fail to grow in me)

The truth is, if you are truly writing from the heart, then the people who would resonate will and the rest...oh well they will move on and prolly block you on social media. And that is exactly what you want.

I’m not talking about writing and transforming yourself into a content mill. That shit’s exhausting. I’m talking about writing as a personal journey towards self discovery. Writing that will move you to your deepest chasms.

That’s the kind of writing that will create possibilities and make changes in your life. The kind you’d want to reflect the person you are and represent you in all your form and glory. The kind you want to grow from. The kind that will make everyone around you a believer. The kind I want for you.

So go right ahead and start writing, and if you are a writer/blogger, take time to hone your voice and message. It's ok to not jump on share threads for the sake of over inflating your blog traffic and social media followers. Although kudos to you, if you actually can make time for that. I honestly felt like a hamster on wheel reciprocating shares and likes and comments. That in and of itself is a full time job.

Good luck to you and if you ever need advise on how to start a blog, you can always contact me. My advise is free but I may have some recommendations that I'm an affiliate for :-)



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