Love Notes to Bella

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

My dear Bella,


Today you turn two years old. Well that happened so fast didn’t it? With that said, I’m not gonna go about the usual cheesy narration parents do on Facebook like “So many years ago, a baby came to our lives, etc. etc. and our life was never the same again *hashtagheart, *hashtag crying face emoji” and all the other shenanigans that come with it.


No, my dear Bella. You know who you are, and you know who you are to us on a deep spiritual level. In fact, I believe you chose me. You chose me and your dad to be your parents. You wonderful little ball of delight full of knowing and personality actually chose me (broken, unsure, unmedicated and insecure me) to be your mom and your ever goofy clumsy dad to be of course, your dad. And you never, ever, ever fail to turn our gray skies blue.


For all of that, I am breathtakingly grateful. Who would’ve known that a positive pee test in my darkest, anxiety-inspired days would’ve saved me from my own damn self? You were such a blessing then, as you are to us now and continue to be. Your angry, grumpy mornings waking up with no pacifier in your mouth and sippy cup on hand makes my mornings super happy. Your OCD at bedtime cuz you gotta have your blanket, your ipad (that you fall right asleep to), your pacifier and of course, sippy cup makes for another gratitude-filled night.


I am looking forward to  many more years getting to know that little girl with the deepest look in her eyes who unbeknownst to her, sends everyone into a sort of  trance with just one look. Right from the start I knew you were something else and just like your older brother Marcus, I love it when you surprise the hell outta everybody with your wits. Because my dear, one thing I know for sure is that people will attempt to underestimate you. Put you down like they own you. Like they did with me, your dad, your brother, your family. But you are stronger and more capable than you think, NOT WHAT THEY THINK. And you are going to own it plus the world that is your playground.


And you got places to go I just know it. When the time is right, you will build your own path that is completely you. Not a replica of my path, nor your dad’s,  your brothers’, sister’s friends’ or whoever the hell expect shit from you to happen.


No  my dear beautiful  Bella Alessandra Smith. It will be your own signature path, not a watered down version of yourself.  


Happy Second!






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